YOU’VE LANDED ON PART IV OF MY TWITTER TIPS.
SEE A LIST OF PREVIOUS TWITTER POSTS.
I love Twitter. And I’m big on proper manners. With that said, I am focusing my fourth Twitter tips post on the constant thanking of people on Twitter. In my opinion, our good manners have gone too far, and we all suffer for it.
Not sure what I’m talking about? When I log onto Twitter lately, this is what I see:
Thanks to @____, @_____, @______ for the follows!
Grateful for RTs from @ ______, @______, @_______!
Hugs for blog visits and comments @_____, @_____, @______!
Muchas Gracias for the #WW @____, @_____, @______, @_____!
Right back at you for the #FF @____, @_____, @______, @_____!
Appreciated your congrats today @____, @_____, @______, @_____!
Looks like a whole lot of nothing, doesn’t it? Call me a cynic, but seeing those messages as regular tweets rather than @replies where your entire following wouldn’t have to see them strikes me as suspiciously self-serving. (If you don’t know the difference between a regular tweet and an @reply, I explain it here.) If the goal of your tweet is to thank the people you’re listing, then why do ALL of your followers need to see it? Written as I’ve shown above, I can’t help but “hear” the following rather than thanks: Read my blog! RT me! Congratulate me! Me, Me, Me.
Expressing our gratitude as @replies helps our crisis a bit, but we’re still spending tremendous amounts of time thanking people and reading about other people getting thanked, which gets at the deeper issue. How much thanking is necessary on Twitter in the first place? Where is the line between appreciation and absolute overkill? Can we come to an agreement on how to demonstrate our gratitude?
LET’S ANALYZE EACH AREA OF CONCERN:
Thanking New Followers: This one is easy. If you follow the person back, that’s an inherent “thank you.” If you don’t follow the person back, I don’t think writing “thanks for the follow @_____” does much to compensate. Follow back (if you want to) OR leave well enough alone. Side note: NO MATTER WHAT, do NOT write direct messages thanking people for the follow. A private message saying: “Thanks for the follow. Check out my [novel, blog, tweets]” is an excellent example of disingenuous gratitude. When you truly interact with people on Twitter through their tweets, they WILL likely check out your tweets, blog, etc.
Thanking for Blog Visits: Respond to comments on your blog, or IF you can, try to visit the blogs of the people who comment. A visit to another person’s blog is FAR more useful to a blogger than your “thank you” tweet about YOU and YOUR blog. No matter what, I see no reason to bring this kind of business to Twitter. If you can’t stop yourself from letting people know you’ve answered their comments or appreciated their visits (I realize visiting all the blogs of the people who read yours is a lot to ask), consider an @reply instead of a regular tweet.
Thanking for ReTweets: I propose this: If you and other Tweeters regularly RT each other, then perhaps you can save yourselves some time and NOT thank each other on top of it all. The back and forth RTing, no matter how intermittent, serves as a more useful, “thank you” than a “thank you” tweet. As for thanking in general for RTs, I urge people to wait until the end of the day or the next day, then write one or two tweets (as an @reply) listing those thank yous.
Thanking people for congratulating you, for coming to your event, for helping to promote you in any way: Reread last sentence of the RT category. That advice applies here too.
Thanking for a #WW & #FF: I saved the most complicated one for last. Whether or not to write #WWs and #FFs (Writer Wednesday and Follow Friday) is a separate issue. Personally, I believe the practice has lost its usefulness. Unless you compose witty and gracious ones to individual people in the tradition of author @Jenna_Blum, then those tweets read like this: “Blah, Blah, Blah.” (Cue voice of Charlie Brown’s teacher.) I have a few followers who include me in weekly #WWs/#FFs, but don’t interact with me AT ALL the rest of the time. I’m 99% sure they see none of my tweets, and their #WWs and #FFs are automated. Frankly, I resent having to spend even a second seeing those automated tweets in my @mention page.
If you’re going to thank someone for the #WW/#FF, do not RT the whole list. I’m begging you. Re-sending those long lists of random names clogs up the Twitter stream, forcing many of your followers to see the same tweets over and over. Many times you’re not even following everyone on that list, which only makes the entire #WW/#FF concept that much more pointless.
So group, what do you think? Am I the only one who’s tired of their Twitter feed looking like gobbly-gook? Gratitude is good. What I’m seeing on Twitter these days is too much of a good thing. And it’s really annoying.
With that, I thank you for reading this lengthy post. And for RTing it.
FIND MY PREVIOUS TWITTER TIPS HERE
THE ART & SCIENCE OF TWITTER (MY GUEST POSTS ON WRITER UNBOXED)
Nina (@NinaBadzin)
Latest posts by Nina (@NinaBadzin) (see all)
- The Spanx Effect of Controlling my iPhone Time - May 21, 2013
- The Post Listen to Your Mother Post - May 14, 2013
- When a Friendship Needs a Break - May 6, 2013
Welcome! I am a freelance writer living in Minneapolis with my husband and four children. My essays on parenting, social media etiquette, improving my habits, Jewish life and more appear in the Huffington Post, Kveller.com, The Jewish Daily Forward and elsewhere. I'm glad you found your way here!
Yeah, Twitter’s confusing me a bit, with all the contradictory info out there about what’s “polite”. Some folks say TO thank folks for following w/ polite DM (that isn’t a sales pitch), some folks say DON’T.
#ww & #ff tend to annoy me. The rare times I participate, I keep my tweet focused on a particular person worth following and why I think they’re worth following.
I guess Twitter’s like life: everyone has their own ideas about what’s polite, and some of ‘em contradict.
Hi! Yes, for sure we all have different opinions! I mentioned in my response to the last person who commented on DMs that I’ve only seen EMPHATIC advice not to do this. It’s better to respond to a person’s tweet in some way, in my opinion. But I believe that you’ve seen other people say the opposite!
I’m new to Twitter, but I whole heartedly agree with you. Twitter should be used for something you would like everyone following you to read….
At the risk of sounding like I’m ignoring all your fabulous advice, THANK YOU for this post. Really. I totally agree that sometimes it’s all we see on Twitter. Thanks, thanks, thanks. Guilty as charged. But not for self-promotion purposes (I’ve got that one covered by obnoxiously sending out the same tweet over and over). Instead, it’s because I worry that the people thanking me will be offended if I don’t thank them back since it’s become such common practice. I’ll also betcha that lots of people out there are doing the same thing for the same darn reason. Here’s hoping that this post goes viral and becomes the new etiquette guideline so all the superfluous thanking will come to an end.
First of all, thanking someone on their personal blog is ALWAYS welcome! And again, it’s not like individuals don’t want to be thanked, but if we can think of Twitter as a large community, then perhaps we can make a point of not forcing the ENTIRE community to read every message we decide to write. Some messages are more appropriate for the smaller group (So better as @metions or DMs). And since most of us can be reasonable about understanding that NOBODY can write a thank you for every person every time, I don’t know why we can’t ALL be more reasonable with the “guilt” issue of feeling like it’s expected. I don’t know if that made sense. Sigh–well, I hope this posts helps a little!
I think you are right, we have gone overboard with the thanking. I include myself because I just thanked a half dozen people in a row, LOL. (actually they thanked me and I you’re welcomed them which is probably as annoying…or possibly MORE annoying). I think it stems from a good place to want to thank people and because now it has become expected. I agree with the above comment and hope this goes viral and all the cloying politeness stops.
I do enjoy a Thank You from people when I RT them.
And I do enjoy a Thank You if I have been able to help someone out with info. they threw out into twitter.
I appreciate a sincere Thank you.
It does make me smile.
I thank sincerely, and I go with what feels right, in that moment.
I know I am always screwing up, so I’ve decided to just not think about it anymore.
There is a lot of rudeness on twitter, why not err on the side of nice, right?
As always, you really know your stuff.
Hi Alexandra! So I don’t think anyone here is arguing about whether we like to be thanked. The issue is whether 500 people need to see that thank you. I’m just hoping people at least start writing the thank yous at @mentions so they clog up the stream less. I’d also love if people didn’t find it rude not to get a thank you all the time. Personally, I’d rather get an RT in the future–even months away–then a generic thank you. Not that I expect anyone to keep track or remember I RTed them . . . I guess my point is that there are more meaningful ways to connect than the name-dropping back and forth. You know what I mean? I for sure forget people sometimes and hope they understand. With that in my mind, I 100% let it go when someone doesn’t thank you. Frankly, I’d NEVER remember who I RTed and didn’t anyway! I’m sure I’m not alone in that, therefore, we can all stop expecting ourselves to mention every name every time. I seriously think I’m turning into Oscar the Twitter Grouch.
I agree 100% with you. I feel the same way about #followfridays that simply list 10 names. Why on earth would I want to follow those people? Pick one or two people and tell my why I should be following them. Maybe that way, I will.
I thought this was interesting so I will retweet this but I will not expect a thank you because I know you will be busy looking through all the other stuff.
Great post, Nina, and I swear I will try to apply your suggestions–no more clogging up Twitter streams from @Jolina_Joy!
I hate to be a thorn, but when thanking people for taking the time out of their days to do something for you becomes an issue, our world is far too self-serving. When the attitude of “My time is to precious to have to read thank yous” takes over, it’s a sad, sad world.
Come on, Tweets, thanking is gracious. If you don’t want to read the thank yous, pass over them, but please don’t tell others not to be kind. And as far as thanking privately- if you are thanking for a mention, many times the person does not follow you, and in the case of Twitter, you CANNOT send a DM to those who do not follow you.
Sorry, guys, I’ll always err on the curtious side.
Thank you for posting this. It is food for thought and I appreciate your candor, even if I don’t agree with it 100%.
Hi Melissa,
I appreciate your honesty here. I’m sure other people agree with you, but haven’t had the courage to comment. I agree thanking is great. I still think it can be done as an @reply so some of your followers see that tweet and not all. Isn’t it most important that the person you are thanking sees it? Retweeting someone’s link is a different story and should be totally public so the person you’re retweeting gets that exposure. A personal thank you or comment to one person doesn’t need to go to 100+ people in my opinion, which is where an @reply helps.
Thanks again for reading the post and taking the time to comment. Nina
**courteous**
Guilty as charged! I’ve been tweeting without thinking much. Time to re-evaluate. Thanks, Nina!
Thanks Nina
Your Twitter “series” has been really useful
I’ve read so much “twaddle” about twitter your posts have made a refreshing change!
Cheers
PiP
I agree with that last one for sure! RTing a whole list just clogs things up–for everyone, including those trying to figure out who to thank for the #FF.
I think there is a lot of ‘filler on twitter’ so I minimize my thanking to mentions and Rts. I try to always follow back as much as possible (not if it’s a company looking for business, or someone with no personal info) and see that as all that is needed. I also do not send DMs for following me. I can always tell the automated ones, and the ones asking me to visit them at XYZ drives me nuts. Interact with me on a regular basis and you can bet I’ll be checking you out, otherwise, it’s just advertizing.
Thx for the tips!
Angela @ The Bookshelf Muse
These are excellent points. When people sign on with Twitter, I don’t know that they’ve investigated it’s ‘manners.’ And those that have been around while and still do the things you’ve mentioned appear to be ‘all about me’ whether they know it or not, intend it or not.
The quickest way for an unfollow from me: Send me a dm thanking me for the follow, a ‘please visit my site,’ and NO return follow. Come on.
And yes, the #WW and #FF get overwhelming, especially if there’s a long list in one tweet, and then repeated tweets from the same person with MORE #WWs and #FFs.
Any kind of self-promotion via Twitter is a turn off for me (and I see so much of it on there). Yikes.
[...] lists of #FF (Follow Fridays), people who constantly write public Tweets that should be @replies (more on that in Part IV), and people who are selling a product. (That includes authors who tweet about their books and [...]
From your screen to the Twitterbugs’ fingers, please!
I’m new to twitter, and was feeling bad for not jumping into the #ww #ff frenzy, because I didn’t know what I was doing (which I still feel, mostly). After a couple months on Twitter, I have NEVER clicked on one of those links and decided to follow somebody because they were in the long string of, as you put it, Charlie Brown teacher twaddle. Sometimes I have seen a retweet of someone who sounded very funny or original, and then decided to Follow them, but even though I still follow comparitively few people, I often feel overwhelmed by the volume and the noise.
Ugh I unfollowed someone bc ALL they did was tweet out twitter handles, I guess of new followers. Never any actual tweets. What’s the point?
And I just unfollowed someone who adds me to a list of #wws and #ffs EVERY SINGLE WEEK but responds to not one other thing I tweet. Ever. So even though I was in the lists, I couldn’t stand it. It just seems so silly to me. Spread the word! The more people who thank as @replies rather than regular tweets the better!
I agree with most of your points regarding the thank you streams (they can be excessive), except the Direct Message thank you. If you use a direct message to thank someone and send a personal message that doesn’t have anything to do with self promotion, I think that is one of the best ways for others not to have to see your thank yous. I don’t participate in the WWs and FFs. And I try to just post content or comment on peoples’ tweets that I find interesting.
Oh–you misunderstood. I 100% think DM thank yous are fine! The only reason not to them is because they can do tedious as you have to do one at a time. With the @reply you can list a bunch of people and only those people will see it but you don’t have to send ten separate DMs. And you totally “get” Twitter by the way. You were a quick study!
Wow. I am so new to twitter, and have no idea what I am doing. Thanks for your advice, I agree with a lot of it, but mostly, I think I agree about thanking via direct message from now on. I certainly do not want to come off as “me, me, me!” I still don’t quite understand the “ff” thing … I guess I have a lot of research to do.
Hi there— let me give you some advice. I wouldn’t thank via DM either. People don’t like receiving too many DMs. It’s just another folder to have to check. Best thing to do is just thank (when you need to) in the regular Twitter stream using an @reply. Meaning, write the tweet like this:
@NinaBadzin, thanks for the retweet today!
Do NOT write it like this:
Thanks for the retweet @NinaBadzin.
Written the first way, only I and the people who follow us both will see it. Written the second one, all of your followers will see it. And why do all of your followers need to see you thanking just ME?
See! It makes good sense. Let me know if you have questions.
[...] few weeks ago Nina Badzin blogged about what she calls the Twitter Thanking Crisis. Her bottom line: “We’re spending tremendous amounts of time thanking people and reading [...]
[...] The Twitter Thanking Crisis (ninabadzin.com) [...]
I am SO with you on the RT of #FF entire list — & the practice of #FF as well. I to have many who include me in an #FF list with the same people very week … but never talk to me otherwise. & the RT of the entire #FF is totally a “they love me, they really love me” type of twitter user.
you have some really great tips here!
Yup, happened again today for #WW (Writer Wednesday). Same person every time. Same group. It’s just noise.
I love your twitter series. When you’re late to the party (as I am) it’s really tough to try to figure out who’s a good model and who isn’t. Having explicit guidelines is a much faster to come up to speed (hopefully allowing you to avoid twitter-culture fauxpas…fauxpas’s?)
I’m going right this very minute to create some lists (following the instructions in part 2) so I can try to manage the overwhelming flow of incoming tweets…Thanks for this!
You’ll be so happy to have those lists! It takes some time to get used to hopping from list to list, but once it becomes a habit, you won’t look at the general stream again. I’m so glad the posts have helped.
See, I kinda want to stop the whole #FF thing, because those are exactly my thoughts. If someone #FFs me, I feel like they’re 1. looking for a thanking RT and 2. A #FF tweet back. The whole thing is just annoying.
I don’t think I’m going to play anymore.
I see I’m close to 100 responders. I can see why. These Twitter Tips are the best I’ve ever found (after paying $8 for a book on the subject which didn’t give much hands-on information). One of my blogger friends who follows you, Christine Grote aka @CMSmith 57, sent me your way. I’m about to print out this list, and hope I can learn Twitter, partly to promote my book (as my publisher keeps pushing at me). I’m 71 years old, and at times this all gets very boggling. I know I’ll never understand everything, but I think I now see how the @ works. Also the direct message. The lists sounds confusing, but I’m going to work on that now. And also read your blogging tips (I’ve been blogging for 16 months and still find I have things to learn in this area).
I’m SO happy I found you!
I’m here, very late, via your posts on Writer Unboxed…
I agree 100%. The only time I ever pay attention to #FF or #WW tweets is if the tweet is personalized and specific, for example: “I recommend following these two great steampunk authors: @___ and @___” or “Follow @___ because she…” (and then something specific about why she’s worth following that matches what I see if I click through to look at her Twitter stream). One or two or three names in a tweet, no more.
Otherwise I just scroll on by, wishing my stream weren’t so clogged up on Fridays. I do sometimes thank people for #FF mentions or RTs, but only via an @reply.
[...] You’re guilty of endless and meaningless lists of #WW (writer Wednesday), #FF (Friday Follow), as well as endless tweets thanking others for RTs (PLEASE write those as @mentions, not regular tweets), and tweets thanking people for following you. See my post, “The Twitter Thanking Crisis” for more on what I consider overkill as well as disingenuo… [...]
WONDERFUL series.
Hi Nina! I’m late to your Twitter series, but have caught up and started using all of your useful tips! Thanks so much for doing this. I’ve only been actively using Twitter for the past month and can admit that I have done some of the no-no’s you mentioned. But no longer!
I do have one question for you about thanking. I get a lot of thank yous for retweeting people’s content or posting tweets about fellow writer’s blogs. I have been saying “you’re welcome” to these thank yous. Should I stop doing that as well? p.s. all of the thank yous and you’re welcomes are happening via @replies so I don’t think I’m polluting the twitter stream, but I wanted to make sure.
Thanks again for such a useful Twitter guide.
[...] I particularly liked because some of the tips touch on some of my peeves with Twitter. I think part 4 and part 5 were ones that I agreed with the [...]
OK, what I’m about to say might sound a little ironic in light of your message, but honestly, THANK you for this post. I’m relatively new to Twitter and I see a lot of people thanking people for follows, RTs, etc. I thought I was supposed to, but at the same time it was starting to feel like overkill. This post has absolved me of my confused sense of obligation. I’m definitely going to work my way through the rest of your Twitter tips…and RT this one while I’m at it.
I’m so happy this post (and hopefully the others) helped! Let me know if you have any other questions I didn’t cover. I can talk twitter etiquette forever.
While I think it’s good to analyse patterns of gratitude, I believe in a “laissez faire” approach when it comes to social networking tools. I’m all for regulating and weeding out hate mails and tweets, but “thank you” tweets in all their many shades of green, blue and red? I say “Happy Thank You More Please” and when I’m not in the mood, I simply turn my back. All those so-called rules have not really changed the face of the earth or the nature of social media. Only content does—the nature of the game is give and take: just as in the “first” life, this “second” life rests upon performing these two tasks as good as you can, and everybody does it differently. It’s that diversity that I appreciate about Twitter.
Loved your Twitter Series! So helpful. I took your advice and decided to join. Right now feeling a little like the new girl in town on the first day of school… I’m a little nervous but excited.
Thanks Nina!
[...] You fill up my entire timeline with #FFs and “Thanks for the RT love” lists. One or two “FF” tweets is plenty for each week. If you want to thank people for RTs, do it by @ mentioning them, not by tweeting their names to everyone. That just comes off as bragging. (This tweet: “@Whoever, thank you so much for the RT!” is totally different than this tweet: “Thanks for the RTs @Whoever @WhoeversTwin @WhoeversMomma @Stranger @PersonIDontFollow.” Get it?) Nina Badzin has a great explanation of this (and why it’s annoying) here. [...]
[...] mentions of users, many people thanked me. I read this post. I read this post yesterday, titled The Twitter Thanking Crisis. Basically a lot of people tweet messages that seem like thank-yous, but are actually [...]
Oh I wholeheartedly agree! When I think about all the tweets I COULD have read instead of the thank you’s and the auto DMs and the real content I could have received, it makes me feel just a little disappointed. I LOVE interacting with people on Twitter and I have gotten SO very tired of the automation part of it. I actually talk about this a bit in Why Automating Twitter Defeats the Purpose http://charitykountz.com/why-automating-twitter-defeats-the-purpose/. I think the thank you’s and #ff / #ww are all automation and are simply a waste. Twitter is meant to be micro – what’s the most important thing you can say in 140 characters? I doubt it’s thank you’s unless it’s a very personalized shout out. I love to share insights into my followers who I have really engaged with or who have awesome content others would enjoy. I kinda think of myself as a filter – and part of what I’m filtering out is the best content and information I can find. Twitter is a really good tool for that.
Great post as always Nina!
Loved your post and agree with all of it. I tried to comment there and on your newest post as well, but the comments aren’t sticking. Not sure why!
Nina, I can’t tell you how helpful this stuff is for a Twitter newbie! Just came here from Amber West’s blog…and will revisit your other posts when I get a chance. Two questions: (1) Recently, a new follower started a ‘thank someone everyday tweet’ as part of a hashtag #thankyouproject. I was really excited to have something meaningful to say at last, and thought it’s a great way of putting positive vibes out there (instead of talking about me, which I don’t find that interesting). Now I’m worried it will just annoy people. What are your thoughts on this? (2) It always feels rude to me just to follow back. Surely a personalised ‘hi, how are you doing?’ or something is ok?
I’m so glad you liked the post, Alarna!
Your questions are great!
#1. The “thank someone every day” concept is great. I think it’s more effective than #FridayFollow and it’s totally different than the disingenuous “Thanking” that drives me bonkers. I’d keep it to one person a day though.
#2. I disagree that it’s rude to just follow someone or to follow back without saying “hi” or “thanks” or even anything. The follow IS the “hello” and “thanks.” A “thanks for following” is sort of redundant and kind of meaningless too. What means SO much more and what will make someone remember you is a retweet or even better, a visit to that person’s blog! Twitter is not like a regular conversation that needs constant back and forth. So all those “thanks” and “you’re welcome” aren’t really adding to the conversation. It might seem rude if you’re applying the rules of NORMAL conversation. But keep in mind that twitter is meant to be a quick, useful stream of info. So those little bits of extra conversation actually get in the way. Like I said, instead of saying thanks for hi, retweet someone’s link. They’ll absolutely appreciate that 1000 times more.
Hope that helps!
That all makes perfect sense, really. And so relieved to hear I can go ahead and thank people! Appreciate your reply and the solid advice
[...] the Full Tip Here: The Twitter Thanking Crisis Filed Under: Social Media [...]
Great tips! I didn’t know about the @reply, that’s really good to know. I’ve been sort of following the examples of a few others on Twitter, but have realized that some DO come across as self-serving rather than sincere with their thank yous, and realizing I still have a lot to learn. Can’t wait to read the rest of your series!
Kate, I’m so glad the tips helped and hopefully the rest in the series will too. (I’m pretty confident you’ll like the other posts!) Thanks for visiting.
Going to check you out now!
Ok! Love your Pinterest boards! Followed you!
Thank you for this post
I couldn’t agree more. I don’t mind a personalized thank you via a private message, however what I hate the most is the personal messages that only promote their blog/websites. My thoughts on this are….”Obviously I am already interested in your website/blog for I have decided to follow you, and because I already follow you I most definitely don’t need another forceful introduction to your website/blog!” I realize that everyone is all about self-promotion, but it gets to be a little much!
I am heading over to check out your other ‘Twitter Tips’!
Kim,
You nailed it. I feel exactly the same way. If I already followed you, just start engaging, do not then “invite” me to check out your blog, etc. It’s redundant and a big turn off. So glad there are people out there who don’t think I’m crazy. I’ve received some (not a lot, but some) negative comments from this post too!
Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment, Nina
I completely agree! I avoided twitter forever and now that I’m actively using it, I realize why I avoided it. I’ve wanted to unfollow people for this very reason, they’re just clogging up my twitter feed.
You can unfollow! Don’t feel like you can’t. Another good thing is making lists . . . (that’s in part 2 of my Twitter series)